Sometimes It's Best Not To Ask
by Opal1030
Summary: Originally a one shot titled "Blondes and Brunettes". Find out what happens when Connie and Guy go to the store and the team tagsalong. This is also my first attempt at humor.
1. Blondes and Brunettes

Disclaimer: I do not own the Mighty Ducks

"If I go brunette, then you have to go blonde." That was the deal Guy made with Connie, when she had the brilliant idea to color his hair. He never thought she'd actually go with it. So there he was in the spare bathroom at Connie's house rinsing the last of the product out of his hair. Connie was rinsing her hair in the other restroom. It was agreed there would be no peeking and that they would reveal their new look to each other at the same time. Of course Connie was giddy about the idea and could not help it when she slipped and told Julie. This led to Julie telling Adam and before Guy knew it the entire team had gathered in Connie's living room for the unveiling as well, everyone except for Portman and Fulton.

"What's the big deal? It's hair!" Portman retorted when he was asked if he was coming.

"Yeah," Fulton agreed, "We'll see it when we meet up for lunch."

Drying the excess water from his hair with a towel, he grabbed the blow dryer Connie had given him and proceeded to dry his hair. He wasn't too keen on using it, he usually just let his hair air dry, but Connie had insisted he use it stating the look would not be complete unless his hair was dry. Once he was done he ran his fingers through his hair. "Not bad," he thought, "Kinda like it."

"Are you two finished yet?" Charlie called from the living room.

"Yeah, I'm ready," Guy replied.

"Ready!" he heard Connie call from the other bathroom.

At that moment they both opened the doors and walked into the living room, Connie from the front and Guy from the back. They were met with a chorus of cheers and compliments.

"Oh my gosh!" Connie squealed upon seeing Guy. He smiled his boyish grin as she rushed over to him and started running her fingers through his hair, "It looks great!"

"The blonde's sexy," he complimented her as she still combed her fingers through his locks, "Very sexy!"

"You think you can handle having a sexy blonde bombshell for a girlfriend," she smiled, pulling him in close.

"Oh yeah," he titled his head down and met her with a tender kiss. This was short lived thanks to the exaggerated coughs and clearing of throats from their teammates.

"So Guy, how does it feel to no longer be the blonde bombshell in the relationship?" Averman asked. Guy just rolled his eyes.

"You look like someone," Ken said examining Guy.

"How about Guy with brown hair?" Goldberg replied.

"No really he looks like someone," Ken looked at Guy closer.

"I see it too," Julie agreed, "I'm just not sure who."

"Could you please stop looking at me like that," Guy took a step back from Ken and Julie, " It's creeping me out."

Just then the front door opened and in walked Portman and Fulton. "Wow Connie!" Portman hooted, "Better watch out Germaine I may just steal your girl."

"Looks good, both of you," Fulton commented looking back and forth between the two.

"What?" Guy asked noticing the some what shocked look on the faces of his teammates.

"Please tell me I'm not the only one seeing this," Connie said staring at her boyfriend and Fulton.

"I see it too," Charlie confirmed staring at the two boys. Everyone agreed, their eyes wide with amazement as they gawked at Fulton and Guy.

"What?" Fulton and Guy asked simultaneously.

"Dude," Portman rested his hands on Fulton's shoulders, "You two look exactly alike."

"It's like Guy's your..." Connie began but was lost for words.

"Mini-me?" Averman finished for her.

Guy and Fulton looked at each other, then to their friends, and back to each other.

"Nah!" they shook their heads.

"No really go look in the mirror," Adam instructed.

"Really go look," Charlie insisted.

Not saying a word Guy and Fulton walked into the larger if the two bathroom and stood in front of the mirror. Waiting in the living room, it was only seconds for the team to hear Fulton's voice echo through the house, "Dude, you're me!"

Immediately, as if on cue, Guy entered the living room in a frenzy. "Connie we have to go," he ordered grabbing his jacket and car keys.

"Where?" she inquired as he handed her sweater to her.

"The store," he marched toward the door. It was clear he was a man on a mission.

"For what?" Connie called snatching up her purse then going after him.

"Hair color," he called, "I'm so going back to blond!"


	2. Super Heros and Stilettos

Disclaimer: I do not own the Mighty Ducks, nor do I own Batman or any of his villianous friends

Honey blonde, sunny blonde, ginger blonde…there were so many boxes Guy wasn't even sure where to start. He just knew he wanted blonde.

"I really wish you would stick to the brunette," Connie said picking up a box and comparing it to another, "at least for a little while."

"Connie I told you this was non-negotiable," Guy reminded her glancing down at the boxes over her shoulder.

"You know Fulton could always color his hair," Ken suggested picking up a box of blonde hair color. The entire team had decided to tagalong to the store as well. Guy liked his teammates, he really did, but sometimes he wondered if he was dating Connie or the whole team.

"No one is touching these sexy locks," Fulton retorted from the other end of the aisle.

"Well instead of blonde, how about another color?" Julie suggested as she and Adam walked up to Guy and Connie.

"Like what?" Guy inquired.

"I don't know…how 'bout this?" standing on her tiptoes, Julie grabbed a box from the top shelf.

"That's red," Guy furrowed his brow at the words auburn red on the box.

"Oh!" Connie squealed, "You would be cute as a redhead!"

"Yeah, throw on some glasses and you'd look like Averman," Portman piped in, giving Guy a good smack on the back. Guy could only scowl.

"Speaking of where is Averman?" Connie asked looking around. The rest of the team had vanished, "Where is everyone?"

On the other side of the store in the toy department Averman, Goldberg, and Russ had come across a stash of superhero mask and weapons.

"I am Batman!" Averman, who was wearing a mask, announced as he poked out his chest and placed his hands on his hips.

"Holy Toledo's Batman!" Goldberg, wearing a black mask and a green towel as a cape rushed up beside Averman, "It's the Riddler!"

Sure enough, at the other end of the aisle was Russ wearing a black mask and a green baseball cap with the words "Sweet Pea" written across the front. It was the only green hat they could find. "You'll never catch me Batman!" Russ chuckled then ran off almost in a skipping type manner.

A few sections over, Luis was roaming through the juniors' clothing scoping out girls. He was in the make-up department earlier but found it was hard being discreet looking at Hot Tamale Red lipstick and Poppy Rose blush. Not that browsing through racks of powder pink and lavender mini skirts was anymore subtle.

Just across the way Charlie was failing miserably at helping Dwayne find a new pair of cowboy boots, "Cowboy, I don't think they have any boots. At least not the kind you're looking for."

"If we were in Texas there would be cowboy boots every where," Dwayne said, picking up a pair of tall black leather boots with a stiletto heel, "What kind of a boot is this?"

"You should try them on," Charlie joked.

"I'm not trying these on!"

"Why not?"

"Because I'm dumb not stupid. And these here have 'busting my butt' written all over 'em," Dwayne stated as a matter of fact pointing at the boots.

"You saying you can't walk in them?"

"I can walk in any pair of boots you give me."

"Prove it."

"I will," Dwayne scoffed as he plopped down on the bench and proceed to remove his own shoes.


	3. Fashion Emergency

Disclaimer: I do not own the Mighty Ducks, nor do I own Batman or any of his villianous friends

It was decided those remaining on the hair treatment aisle would hunt down the rest of the team and meet at the front of the store in a half hour. Julie and Adam were off to find Luis; Portman, Fulton, and Ken were searching for Charlie and Dwayne; leaving Connie and Guy to find Averman, Goldberg and Russ.

Crouching behind a rack of blouses and Luis watched as a few girls shopped for clothes. Spotting him Julie marched up behind him, with Adam not far behind. "What are you doing?" she snapped causing Luis to bump his head on the rack.

"Ouch! Don't do that!" Luis whined rubbing his head.

"What are you doing?" Julie repeated the question.

"Looking for a shirt."

"On the floor?"

"I was checking out the hem."

"In the juniors' department?"

"Hey, preppy's not the only one who looks good in pink," Luis retorted, referring to the pink dress shirt Adam wore to the sports banquet earlier that year.

Julie could only roll her eyes as she stormed off.

"What? I look good in pink!" Luis called after her.

"Come on," Adam gestured for Luis to follow, "we've got to meet up with everyone else."

The next department over Dwayne and Charlie had both found a pair of black leather stiletto boots and were competing to see who would walk the furthest and the fastest in them. Neither was doing too well. They were clumsy and awkward trying to balance on the skinny heels.

"This is harder than it looks," Dwayne stumbled into the shoe rack. At that very moment Fulton, Portman, and Ken came around the corner. "Hey ya'll!" Dwayne greeted supporting himself on the rack.

"Uh hi?" Ken said with uncertainty as he and the other guys noticed the shoes on Dwayne's and Charlie's feet.

"I hope you two have a good explanation for this," Fulton said.

"Actually, believe it or not, we do," Charlie smiled wobbling his way over to them he offered an explanation.

"And you can't walk in these?" Portman scoffed, "You can skate but you can't walk in a pair of shoes."

"If you think it's so easy, let's see you do it!" Charlie snapped back.

"Fine, give me those boots," Portman ordered as he yanked his shoes off.

On the other side of the store, Connie and Guy walked up and down the aisles of toys. "Is the brunette really that bad?" Connie inquired as they went down an aisle of dolls and miniature strollers.

"It's not the brunette, it's the fact I look like Fulton," Guy corrected her.

"What's wrong with that? Fulton's kind of cute."

"How cute?"

"I don't know...just cute."

"Is that fuzzy little puppy cute or he's so hot cute?"

"Shhhh!" Connie hushed him, "Do you hear that?"

"No! Now what do you mean by just cute?"

"No listen," she furrowed her brow trying to concentrate, "Someone's singing."

Sure enough Guy heard it too. Soft and muffled in the distance, "_Na na na na na na na na na Batman!_" Gradually it grew louder, "_Na na na na na na na na na Batman!_" Until, "Holy smokes Batman it's the Joker!" Goldberg, who was chasing Russ, came up from behind Guy and Connie. The two spun around to see Goldberg and Russ.

"I'll save you!" Averman declared, coming from the other side, he pounced on Guy's back.

Stumbling, Guy somehow managed to maintain his balance, "Get off me!"

"Never! You will pay for your crimes!"

"Averman get off him before I pound you!" Connie hissed.

"Yes ma'am," Averman said sheepishly as he jumped of Guys' back.

Standing up straight, Guy finally had a chance to really look at the three boys, "I'm not going to ask. Let's just go."

"Come on," Connie said following Guy down the aisle and out of the toy department. Shedding their disguises Averman, Goldberg, and Russ followed suit.

Coming around the corner they saw Julie, Adam, and Luis standing at the front of the store.

"Hey, you didn't see the others?" Julie asked as Connie, Guy, and the other three approached them.

"No," Connie replied.

"They still have a few minutes," Guy informed glancing down at his watch.

Quietly they waited. Every now and then Luis would try to wander off after a pretty girl and someone would have to go after him. At some point, Averman decided to re-channel his superhero persona and attempted to tackle Luis. Needless to say, Luis was not happy. Things could have turned bad if Adam and Guy were not there to soothe things out.

Hearing her phone ring, Julie pulled it from her purse. _Portman_ the caller ID read.

"Hey, where are you guys?" she answered. The others stood around her and waited.

"What kind of emergency?" she inquired. "How did you do that? Okay, fine we're coming." She hung up.

"What's wrong?" Adam asked.

"They broke a shoe," Julie replied walking in the direction of the shoe department.

"How?" Russ inquired as he and the others followed.

Julie just shook her head, " You don't want to know."


	4. Santa Claus Isn't Real

Disclaimer: (I hate these things) I do not own the Mighty Ducks nor _The Shoemaker and the Elves_

"Why?" Julie asked Portman and Charlie holding the heel in her hand. Connie was examining the sole of the boot.

"Do you really have to ask?" Guy rolled his eyes as if the answer was obvious. The girls glared at him and it was enough that he knew he better shut up and walk way.

The entire team had gathered in the shoe department, not that it took everyone to fix a broken shoe, but to simply keep everyone together.

"Again, why?" Julie repeated the question.

"Conway made me do it!" Portman whined like a small child pointing at Charlie.

"I did not!" Charlie snapped back.

"Did too!"

"Not!"

"Too!"

"That's enough!" Julie yelled. Both boys sheepishly bowed their heads.

"You know, Charlie can be an instigator," Adam, who was watching off to the side, just had to add his two cents in.

"Not helping," Connie hissed. He too got the hint and stepped away, just in time to see Averman wander over to lingerie.

"Averman what are you doing?" he asked chasing after him.

"Look earmuffs!" Averman grinned placing a bra on his head with the cups over his ears. However, his smile dropped and his eyes became wide as an elderly woman came up behind Adam. Looking over his should, Adam saw the woman.

"He's not with me!" he quickly said before running off leaving Averman, with the bra still on his head, looking guilty.

"Yeah, gotta go," Averman dropped the under garment and ran back to the team.

Back in shoes, Luis and Fulton were flirting with three girls while everyone else argued about ways to fix the broken heel.

"Duct tape fixes anything," Goldberg said as a matter of fact.

"It does not!" Russ furrowed his brow, "Super glue fixes everything."

"Actually I heard elves can fix shoes," Dwayne chimed with a grin on his face. They all stopped and looked at him like he was crazy.

"Elves?" Goldberg inquired to be sure he heard him correctly.

"Yeah, you know _The Shoemaker and the Elves_."

"That's a fairy tale," Guy bluntly informed him.

"You mean it's not real?"

"Neither is Santa Claus," Averman gave the cowboy a pat on his back as confusion and shock came over Dwayne.

"I vote we just leave it and go," said Guy.

"We can't do that," Connie frowned.

"Why not?" Ken asked.

"How would you like it if you were broken and someone dropped you and went away?"

"It's a shoe, not a puppy!" Guy snapped his patience was growing thin. They continued to go back and forth until it was finally decided to leave it and go. As everyone filed out, Guy went to fetch Fulton and Luis who were still in the corner flirting.

"Come on it's time to go."

"Is this your brother?" one of the girls asked Fulton smiling at Guy, "He's cute."

Before Fulton could say anything, Guy hissed, "I'm taken and we're not related."

All three girls, especially the one who asked, were taken back.

"Sorry about that," Fulton apologized wrapping his arm around Guy and pulling him in close, "Mom says he can't help it…hemorrhoids."

Luis snickered and Guy turned about fifty shades of red.


	5. Fluffy

Disclaimer: I do not own the Mighty Ducks nor do I own Winnie-the-Pooh, Speedy Gonzales, or Pepe La Pew.

No one would ever know how they did it, but somehow they all managed to make it out of the store; including Fulton whom Guy attempted to stuff into a shoebox, and probably would have succeed if Luis had not intervened. Now outside the topic of conversation was what and where to eat for lunch.

"There's a cute new little shop downtown on the square," Julie suggested, "They have some pretty good salads and sandwiches."

"The one next door to the boutique?" Connie asked. Julie confirmed with a nod. "They have one of the best chicken salads!" she chirped.

"Have you had the turkey and cheese melt?" Julie smiled; excited someone could share in her enthusiasm.

The boys stood back and watched; surprised two girls could be so excited about food. If they didn't know any better they would've swore Connie and Julie were gabbing about some hot boy. After listening to the girls go through about half the menu, Portman finally interrupted.

"I want food," he said gruffly, "Real food."

"It is real food," Julie retorted.

"If you're a rabbit," Goldberg piped from the other side of the circle, "We're men. Men are like bears, we want meat on our plates."

"Goldberg you are no bear," Connie informed. From the corner of her eye she could see Averman puffing out his chest "And neither are you," she glared.

"We could eat Fulton, he's got quite a bit of meat on him," Guy bluntly pointed out, but was quickly met with a swift punch to the stomach from Connie's elbow.

"You want to see a bear?" Portman bellowed beating his chest, "This is a bear!"

"More like Pooh Bear," Luis said under his breath.

"You're not so big yourself Speedy Gonzales!" Portman retorted.

"Hey, what's with the racist remark," Russ came to Luis' defense.

"Who says it was racist?" Fulton jumped in, taking sides with Portman.

"Kind of was," Guy muttered a bit louder than he intended.

"What's it to you Pepe Le Pew?" Portman threw a daggered look Guy's way.

"Hey no one talks to my mini-me that way!" Fulton snapped. Furrowing their brows Guy barked "I'm not your mini-me!" Then turning back to Portman, Guy confronted him, "Are you saying I smell?"

"At least he didn't call you a mouse," Luis pointed out. Guy just gave him a side ways glance.

"You know Guy actually smells really good," Averman piped in. At that moment everyone became quiet and simultaneously turned to look at the red headed nerd.

"What?" Averman asked confused

"I'm not going to ask how you know that," said Russ glancing over at Averman.

"He does!" Averman walked over to Guy and attempted to sniff him.

"Don't even think about it," Guy warned throwing up a fist. Averman stepped back with his head bowed.

"Seriously, what are we going to eat?" Kenny asked trying to get everyone back on track. They argued some more, until finally it was decided they would pick up a few pizzas and eat at Connie's house.

Arriving at Connie's house – Charlie, Fulton, and Portman with the pizzas—Ms. Moreau met the kids in the driveway. "Good, you're here," the woman said tossing a few items into the back seat of her car, "Where have you been?" Too busy running around she had not yet noticed her daughter's hair.

"We went to the store," Connie explained approaching her mother as everyone else slipped pass into the house.

"I got called into work. You your bother is watching TV. Andrew's mother should be here in the next half hour to take him to soccer. Make sure he feeds Fluffy," she kissed Connie's forehead, "You colored your hair."

"Yeah," Connie wasn't sure how to respond as she did not tell her mother about the make over.

"It looks good," Ms. Moreau confirmed, tucking a strand of the golden locks behind Connie's ear. Connie smiled, "But let's not do this too often," her mother warned. She then got into the car and drove away.

Walking into the house, Connie found her teammates in the living room chomping on the pizza. Luckily Guy was able to save two slices for her. In the middle of the teens, was Connie's six year old brother Jamie. He was sitting quietly on the couch, in his soccer uniform, watching cartoons. In front of him on the coffee table was a small tank filled with plants and rocks.

"What ya got there partner?" Dwayne asked peering through the glass.

Jamie did not answer. He just kept staring at the television screen. Connie would've answered for him, but her mouth was full of pizza. So Guy, being her boyfriend he was often present at their home, responded, "That's Fluffy."  
Everyone was sitting at the edge of their seats trying to find the mysterious creature in the tank.

"What is Fluffy?" Goldberg inquired.

Jamie still did not respond. "Jamie, Goldberg is talking to you," Connie said.

Jamie coming out of his trance looked at the goalie.

"What is Fluffy?" Goldberg asked again.

"A tarantula," the little boy smiled proudly, "Wanna see?" he proceeded to pop the lid of the tank open.

"No, no! That's okay," everyone frantically assured him backing away from the tank.

"Your parents let him have a tarantula?" Julie asked Connie in shock.

"I wanted a bunny," Jamie chimed, "but Daddy says we already have Connie and Guy."

They all raised their eyebrows at Guy and Connie. Both were bright red and trying avoid eye contact. Just then the door bell rang. Running to the window beside the door Jamie peered out to see who it was. Seeing it was his friend Andrew, he welcomed him in.

"You ready?" Andrew asked.

"Yeah, let me get my ball," Jamie ran to his room; Andrew followed.

"Jamie, Mom said to feed Fluffy before you leave," Connie called to her brother.

Coming back from his room, Jamie carried a soccer ball and a small container of food for the large spider. Placing the ball on the floor, Jamie moved Fluffy's tank to the kitchen counter. Then opening the lid he dropped a few pieces of food in for Fluffy.

"Bye!" Jamie said grabbing his ball as he and Andrew ran out the door.

"Bye," the Ducks called back in unison, some with mouths full of pizza.

The afternoon surprisingly went without incident. The teens simply relaxed, enjoying each other company. It wasn't until Guy decided to start the process of coloring his hair that things started to get…well let's say a little creepy crawly.

Grabbing the box of color Guy, looked at Connie who was lounging on the couch, "Would you like to help?"

"Eh, I'm kind of comfortable," she replied staring at the television screen.

"Well, I would appreciate it if you would help me."

It was obvious to the rest of the team what Guy really wanted, but Connie wasn't picking up on it.

"Why? You did it by yourself the last time and it looks good."

"It's a different brand."

"The directions are all the same," she assured him.

Becoming somewhat annoyed by Guy's vague pleads and Connie's lack of comprehension, Charlie snapped, "Guy just tell her what you want."

"I did," Guy returned, "I want her to help me."

Charlie rolled his eyes, then turning to Connie ordered, "Go make out with the boy!"

Connie jumped up of the couch, a devilish grin on her face, grabbed Guy's hand and the two were gone.

"I guess we should clean up," Adam suggested, getting up he collected a few glasses from the coffee table and brought them to the kitchen. Opening the dishwasher, he turned on the sink faucet and started to rinse the dishes before loading them into the machine. By now Julie and Ken were clearing away the extra pizza boxes from the kitchen table.

"What's wrong?" Julie asked her boyfriend. They all turned to look at Adam who had stopped dead in his tracks. He was staring at the spider tank on the kitchen counter...the tank with the door wide open.

"No one panic," Adam warned his voice a little shaky, "but…where's Fluffy?"


	6. GQ and The Hunt

Disclaimer: I do not own The Mighty Ducks :(. Nor do I own GQ or any of it's models...double :(.

No one was to panic. Yeah right! There was a hairy spider the size of a man's fist running around the house. How were they not to panic? Armed with pots, pans, hockey sticks and anything else they could find the Ducks dispersed themselves throughout the house on what Charlie dubbed _Mission: Find Fluffy_. (…_and don't wet yourself_ was tagged on by Averman).

At the far end of the house, down by the laundry room and outside the door leading into the garage Fulton and Portman guarded the hall.

"You scared?" Fulton asked clutching a hockey stick, his back to Portman.

"I ain't scared of no bug!" Portman scoffed, "Wait! What's that?" Portman whispered pointing with the pot he held into the dark laundry room. Fulton turned and looked over his friend's shoulder. There in the dark by the dryer was a small bump.

"It's Fluffy," Fulton whispered in suspense, "Go get him…her…it," he gave Portman a nudge.

"You get it!"

"Okay, I'll use the stick to coax it out here and then you catch it under the pot," Fulton instructed. Portman nodded to show he understood. Holding the stick at the very top of its handle Fulton stretched his arm until the other end of the stick hovered just above the small bump. "Ready?"

"Yeah," Portman stood just behind him ready with the pot.

"One, two, three," Fulton gave the tiny bump a nudge. It barely moved an inch, but it was enough to get both of the boys screaming, especially Portman who jumped onto Fulton's back. Hearing the commotion Luis and Russ came darting around the corner both armed with his weapon of choice.

"What? Did you find it?" Luis asked.

"It's in there," Portman, who was still clinging to Fulton, pointed into the dark laundry room. Cautiously Luis and Russ approached the room; peering in they saw the tiny little bump.

"Let me see the stick," Russ held his hand out to Fulton. Taking the stick Russ slid it around the corner of the door and flipped on the light switch.

"It's a ball of dryer lint," Luis bluntly informed upon seeing the bumps true identity.

"You were scared of a fuzz ball," Russ chuckled pointing at Portman and Fulton, who were now trying to play it cool.

"Russ it's by your shoe!" Fulton yelled.

"Where? Where?" Russ shrieked like a little girl jumping up and down, until he finally realized Fluffy was never there to start with, "That's just wrong."

Back in the kitchen Adam and Ken, armed with a hockey stick and a large baking sheet, softly walked the floor. Gripping the handle of a frying pan, Julie stood on top of a chair, "I hate spiders," she whined.

"You do know spiders can climb," Adam said peering between the refrigerator and the counter.

"They can jump too," Ken added.

"Would the two of you shut up!" Julie hissed.

"So exactly what is the plan if and when we find Fluffy?" Ken asked scanning the counter by the sink.

"Kill it!" Julie ordered.

"That would make on hell of a crunch," Ken replied shivering at the thought.

"That's gross!" Julie frowned with disgust.

"You're the one who said 'kill it'."

"Has anyone told Connie and Guy?" Adam interrupted.

"What that large bugs go _crunch_ when you smoosh 'em?" inquired Ken.

"No that there is a large hairy spider on the loose," Adam corrected.

Ken looked at Julie, who looked at Adam, who looked at Ken. Then with a nod, Ken assured his them "I'm sure they'll figure it out."

Connie let out a giggle as Guy planted a series of kisses along the side of her neck. "I thought we were supposed to be coloring your hair?" she smiled pulling him closer.

"We will," he promised between pecks and nibbles as his hand crept under her shirt.

"Guy we can't," Connie barely whispered as she canted her head back.

"Why not?"

"The team is here."

Pulling away Guy looked around the bathroom, "What team?"

"You know what I mean."

"Alright," he sighed rolling his eyes up to the ceiling.

"Come here, you," Connie giggled, grabbing his wrist she pulled him in for another soul melting kiss. "I thought I told you, no," her tone was firm as he nibbled her ear.

"I'm not doing anything."

She was about to argue when she realized both of his hands were around her waist and hers were wrapped around his neck. This only left one question. "Then what is crawling up my skirt?" she said through clenched teeth.

Stepping back, Guy slowly lifted his girlfriend skirt to about mid thigh and there was…Fluffy. Connie let out a blood curdling shriek as she swatted the large spider off her. Fluffy rocketed through the air; coming down the large spider landed on Guy's neck before slipping below the collar of his shirt.

"Crap!" Guy screamed. Frantically ripping off his shirt he slipped on the rug, falling back into the tub bring the curtain rod, curtain, liner and all down on top of him. Connie still shrieking began throwing whatever she could get her hands on at the tarantula; poor little Fluffy, scared and confused, scurried under the bathroom door and down the hall.

Hearing the chaos unfold everyone raced for that side of the house, except for Julie who remained on the chair in the kitchen. Approaching the bathroom, with his team behind him, Charlie reached for the doorknob just as the door flew open and Connie barraged out almost knocking Charlie and few of the other guys off their feet.

"Remind me to talk to coach about switching her to defense," he looked over his shoulder at Adam. Running into the bathroom Charlie, Banks, Averman, and Goldberg found Guy trying to pull himself out of the tub. (The rest of the team had dispersed some following Connie and some continued with the hunt.)

"You okay?" Charlie asked, as he and Averman helped their friend to his feet.

"Yeah," Guy winced rubbing the back of his head. The four boys gawked at Guy's bare pasty white chest. "What?" he inquired.

"Man, you need a tan," Goldberg snickered.

"You're not exactly Mr. GQ yourself!" Guy retorted. Bending over he picked his shirt up off the floor, turned it right side out and put it back on.

"He's got you there," Averman laughed pointing at the goalie.

"You're not exactly tomorrow's underwear model either!" Goldberg snapped.

"Please," Adam begged, "Fluffy on the loose is scary enough, don't add to the horror."

"Besides, if anyone is going to be the GQ underwear model it's me," Charlie smiled with pride combing his fingers through his hair. They all glared at him.

"What? You don't think I could?"

"Whatever," Guy shook his head, "I still get more action than entire team put together," he walked out of the small room leaving them dumbfounded.

"Damn French- Canadian," Charlie growled, " I hate it when he's right."


	7. Back to Blond

Disclaimer: I do not own The Mighty Ducks.

**Author's Note: So, this is the last chapter. I've enjoyed writing this and I hope everyone who has read it has enjoyed it as well.**

Unlike Julie, Connie wasn't scared of much, but having Fluffy crawl up her leg had brought her to her limit. So there she was sitting back to back with Julie on the kitchen table each holding a frying pan. Adam and Ken had returned to manning the kitchen and living room area. Fulton, Russ, Dwayne, and Goldberg searched the rooms and hall down by the laundry room. At the opposite end of the house—armed with hockey sticks and cooking pots—Portman, Luis, Guy, Charlie, and Averman (in that order) were lined up along the wall outside of the master bedroom. They all spoke in whispers, Averman singing the _Mission Impossible_ theme under his breath.

"Are you sure it went in there?" Luis asked Portman looking over his shoulder into the dark room.

"Yes!" Portman hissed becoming irritated this was the third time he had to answer the question.

"I still can't believe that thing got out," Guy muttered to himself.

"I can't believe _you _let it get away," hissed Charlie; all the while Averman was gradually becoming louder behind him.

"Well I'm so sorry!," Guy retorted, "A little warning would've been nice!"

"What did you want? Bells and whistles?" Charlie raised his voice.

"I don't know! How 'bout 'Guy, Connie there's a huge spider on the loose'!"

"Would you two shut up!" Portman called from the front of the line. At the rear Averman was becoming even louder.

"Yeah, man it's not that we didn't want to tell you. It's just we didn't want to interrupt you and Connie," Luis explained, though he really wasn't sure why no one told them.

"Sometimes, not often, but sometimes it's okay to interrupt," Guy informed his tone hissy.

"Would you cut that out!" Charlie snapped at Averman.

"Sorry, I was just trying to set the mood," said Averman sheepishly.

Turning back to the other three, Charlie asked, "So are we just going to stand here or are we going in after it?"

"We're going in," Replied Portman, "On the count of three."

"Wait! Slow and soft, we don't want to scare it," Luis warned. They nodded and Portman began the count. Stepping cautiously, they made it to the threshold where Portman suddenly stopped causing the other four to collide into him and each other.

"Averman was right, you do smell good," Charlie said upon getting a good whiff of Guy's cologne.

"Told you," Averman smiled. Guy glared from over his shoulder at the two, all the while Luis and Portman leaned in to sniff the back of his neck.

"Damn Germaine!," Portman hooted.

"It's very…what's the word?" Luis snapped his finger as several words, but not the one he was looking for, went through his head.

"Hot?" Charlie suggested, leaning in for another whiff.

"No," Luis shook his head.

"Sexy?" said Portman, also grabbing one more sniff.

"Yeah!"

"Like bad boy sexy." Averman piped.

"What is it?"Luis asked, as he and the other boys leaned in for another whiff. Guy found himself pinned against the wall, his teammates all sniffing him.

"Do you mind!" he snapped pushing them away. At that moment a screech came from the far end of the house. Leaving their post they ran down the hall, through the living room and then kitchen, down to the laundry where Fulton, Russ, and Dwayne were watching Goldberg jump around in a circle screaming, "It's got me! It's got me!" as he pulled off his shirt.

"OHHHH!" they all groaned at the sight of Goldberg's bare chest.

"Dude," Fulton frowned, "Your tag was out; Dwayne was just tucking it in."

"Sorry partner," Dwayne said handing the goalie his shirt, "Didn't mean to scare you."

"Oh, well you can never be too safe," Goldberg replied, slightly embarrassed.

"Next time spare us all and live on the edge," Averman advised.

Another shriek was heard, this time from the kitchen. Coming to the kitchen they found Adam and Ken both making a nose dive attempting to catch the spider under a pot as it scurried toward the table. They missed, only succeeding in bumping heads. Quite relived the furry little critter began to climb one of the chair legs. Screeching both of the girls jumped off the table, Connie toward the living room and Julie toward the laundry room. Fulton, being the closest, also made a go at it, but missed as well. Confused the spider slid back down to floor and darted fro the living room.

"This ends here!" Portman declared running back toward the laundry room with Fulton, Dwayne, Ken and Russ at his heel. Snatching the pot Averman held Guy sprinted in the other direction for the living room, everyone else right behind him. Though it was never said, they all knew the plan: came at it from both sides…and it worked! Almost.

Running down the hall from the laundry to the front door Portman ran into Connie causing her to fall on her back. At the same time, Guy dove in from the other side trying to catch Fluffy under the pot. He too missed, but landed right on top of his girlfriend as a loud pop rung through the house. There, inches from Connie's, head Dwayne had caught Fluffy under a mixing bowl. Everyone hooted and cheered but the celebration was short lived as the front door opened. They all gawked at the two figures as they stepped into the house. Connie still on the floor canted her head back and Guy looked up to see a small pair of cleats and a much larger pair of dress shoes.

"Hi Jamie. Hi Daddy," greeted Connie in a small voice.

"Hi sir," Guy's voice slightly shook.

Mr. Moreau crossing his arms frowned down at the two. Everyone recognized this was their time to go and hurried out the door. Averman of course couldn't just leave and as he walked past his teammates still on the floor, he knelt down and said, "You know…you two should really do that stuff in private."

"Keep walking Averman," Banks nudged him out the door. Guy could only scowl as he picked himself up of the floor.

Guy made it out of Connie's house alive…barely. It took quite a bit of effort on Connie's part to persuade her father not to strangle her boyfriend. Now at home, Guy stood in the bathroom looking at his dripping wet hair in the bathroom mirror. It was a tad darker than his natural color, but it was blond. Grabbing a towel he ruffled his hair as a knock was heard at the door.

"Guy?" a gentle came from the other side.

"Yeah mom?" he replied.

"I hope you don't mind, but I scheduled you an appointment to get your hair trimmed this weekend."

"Thanks," he dropped the towel on the floor and raked his finger through his hair.

"I was thinking," she continued from the other side of the door, "How about you do something different? Like maybe a new cut…or how about a different color? Like brunette."

Guy could only roll eyes.

**Thanks again for reading. **


End file.
